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discipline, someone help!!!


 
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twendi
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Joined: 15 Nov 2004


Last Visit: 13 May 2009
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PostPosted: November 15 2004, 8:06 PM    Post subject:
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I have a 20 month old daughter who has Downs, and she is starting her terrible twos early, or so it seems. She hits, she bites and she pinches, looks you right in the eye with a defiante look and does it all. I have started putting her on the floor away from me and telling her "No, it hurts when you do that", but she laughs most of the time, like she thinks it is funny and sometimes no reaction at all.

Any suggestions?
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Emdad
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PostPosted: November 15 2004, 9:58 PM    Post subject:
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Please bear in mind that it is easier to say this than it is to do it. My Mom was a strict disciplinarian (meaning I got hit a lot), so I have my own demons when it comes to this. My Mom hit, pinched, and bit back. I don't think that this is the right way to do things.
The key with any child, but IMHO (in my honest opinion) moreso with our kids, is to be consistent. The more consistent you can be, the better, because it is going to take longer. I think what you are describing is fine, you'll just have to keep it up. There are kids and there are kids. I clearly remember my sister being spanked (please understand, my Mother is not and was not a monster!), over Mom's knee, with Sis's face turned back toward her just laughing at Mom. She got spanked harder, she laughed harder. Mom gave up. The key is to address her behavior, and you are doing that. Removing her from the situation helps you both.It physically teaches her that it is wrong, and you get some space, too.
And, by the way, Hi! My little girl is 5.
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twendi
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PostPosted: November 15 2004, 10:34 PM    Post subject:
Thank you for your encouraging words
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Your encouragement has helped. I was looking online for books regarding something with Down syndrome and discipline but found nothing and that is when I came to this site and the site owners "About us" made me cry. Anyway, I thought I would post my own problem. I will stay consistant, and keep in mind I have two older children, that were the "traditional children", so I am not inexperienced, but I feel like I am inexperienced in this situation, I guess maybe because I am.

I dont want to give up and I dont want to be impatient.

Thank you for your kind and encouraging words
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Stephlong
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PostPosted: November 15 2004, 11:13 PM    Post subject:
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That is funny, Im not really laughing AT you, but my daughter (not DS) will be turning 3 the first week of Dec. She has been at her terrible 2's since she was 1 1/2. Same things like you said with your daughter and lately she is pretty mouthy too. Anyway, my point is, see our kids (with Ds) are not as different from typical kids the same age, like some people like to think. They still have alot of the same similarities! They all go through the same stages!! But I feel for ya, cause it is stressful!! Good Luck though, Im sure it eventually gets better. (I think I've been trying to convince myself that for quite sometime.)

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twendi
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PostPosted: November 16 2004, 8:06 AM    Post subject:
Thanks again for more encouraging words
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I think you are right. DS kids are not that far behind the traditional child, it just seems to take forever for them to understand what they are being told. I guess I just need to have more patients with my patients...LOL
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Annieo
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PostPosted: November 16 2004, 10:24 AM    Post subject:
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John, who is 23 months old, has started grabbing at my face and pinching really hard. I pull his hand away and say, "No, no." If he does it again, I put him down away from me like you do. I've found that he only does it when he's hungry or tired, not that that's an excuse but it gives me hope that he isn't just developing a mean streak!

Welcome to a great site. What is your daughter's name?

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rhonda
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PostPosted: November 16 2004, 1:35 PM    Post subject:
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Wow, everything you have just described is exactly what my son Dylan does!! It's like he gets a burst of something and he just can't control himself. I look forward to reading more replies.

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Taylor 18, Jordan 17, Dylan 8

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twendi
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PostPosted: November 16 2004, 5:57 PM    Post subject:
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It is funny how we are finding that our children are doing similar things around the same age. I am trying to figure out if this actually has to do with DS or if it is just the age. My daughters name is Samira, she is Arab.

She is wonderful, but this hitting and biting thing is not so fun. I have bruises all over my arms where she has bit or pinched very hard. And like you said it is like some kind of burst of energy. It doesnt seem as though it is out of anger, but, I notice if I say "no" she does it more, maybe because she is getting some kind of reaction.

I want to research this more to see what others say about this.
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HannahsmomUK
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PostPosted: November 16 2004, 7:20 PM    Post subject:
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Hannah went through a period of biting and pinching but it seems to have subsided now. Funnily enough she was probably about 20 months when it started ( I put it down to having a new baby ) and she even bit Rebecca's toe and made it bleed.

I was very stern and kept saying no all the time and putting her down on the floor ( i even put her back in her cot once and closed the door to the bedroom and left her to stew over it in her tears ) even though i didn't think i was getting through but eventually she must of tired of it and she just did it less and less.

I can't say she doesn't do it at all as sometimes momentarily she will bite or pinch when she gets frustrated and can't get her way, but it is few and far between

hi and welcome to the board by the way twendi

we would love to see some piccies of Samira its a lovely name too

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twendi
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PostPosted: November 16 2004, 8:23 PM    Post subject:
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Thanks for the response. I am glad I joined this forum, it has been needed for a long time. I have just been so busy with Samira that I havent had anytime at all to get into a support group, but I am glad that I finally did it, it is already helping.
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Lily
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PostPosted: November 22 2004, 2:49 PM    Post subject:
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Hello all, I'm new to the forum and you can see my introduction in the, well introduction section!

I don't know how to word what I want to say, so bear with me. Most of the kids/teenagers/adults I have worked with that have ds are on a behavior modifying medication because of their tendency to get aggressive. What I wonder about the people I work with is how it all began. I guess I feel great about this site b/c by the time I get to meet/know the people I work with they are already on the medication. I wonder how bad it got before their families took them to get medication. Also how bad their behaviors got.
Someone mentioned this already, but I'll try to stress it with my "expertise" (HAHA). Consistency is the key! (Well, one of the keys any ways) In discipline, in every day life. Once your children get older I suspect they will begin to obsess about things (If they don't already). When are you going places, who will be there, why isn't so-and-so here... everything. If I try to take a couple days off from work, the ladies I work with obsess about it so much. They are afraid that I'm not coming back.

With adults, we've learned that ignoring the negative behavior and rewarding the positive is a GREAT way to decrease the negative behavior. Though I have NO idea if what you are describing is behaviors or just kids being kids. I guess thats why I posed my question about when people know or decide its time to look into getting medication.
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